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Do Kids Go to Heaven? | Fri 3-13-26

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Do many whites think Jesus was white? Why black Americans are more "into" race. Should we be more concerned about children than adults, in war?

The Hake Report, Friday, March 13, 2026 AD 

🕰️ TIMESTAMPS 

  • (0:00:00) Start / Disclaimer 

  • (0:05:44) 🎶 Hey, you guys! 

  • (0:08:12) 💬 Supers I'd missed… TP roll in the toilet. Iran uranium. 

  • (0:15:23) 📞 MICHAEL, Canada: Ridin' Dirty. Gummy "addict." Manu Militari rapper. 

  • (0:19:59) M: French Canadian … Rooster 

  • (0:23:11) 📞 RONNIE, OH: Godfather: HW. 

  • (0:24:17) R: Non-white Jesus 

  • (0:32:11) R: Blacks are more into race… 

  • (0:39:05) R: Race matters on earth, not in Heaven 

  • (0:42:05) R: Is it a war, William III? 

  • (0:44:57) R: More concerned about children than adults? Tony Montana, Scarface, CNN 

  • (0:51:08) 📞 WILLIAM III: Old Dominion, Michigan synagogue 

  • (0:54:39) W III: Little girl died … bashing 

  • (0:58:55) 📞 MAZE, OH… he's not white 

  • (1:02:58) M: Glee making people mad? Or making them think? 

  • (1:07:08) M: Need to teach people not to hate… 

  • (1:08:13) 📞 JEFF, LA: Heaven and color of God 

  • (1:11:10) 🗒️ Mojtaba Khamenei coma? Disfigured? 

  • (1:12:48) 📞 ALLEN, MI: Digital watch, circadian rhythm. Punchie's Coffee. Meds, govt regs. 

  • (1:16:30) A: All under oppression: Property tax, debt slavery, Christian BHI 

  • (1:21:05) 📞 JOHN, KY: Jesus, what is "olive skinned"? 

  • (1:26:18) J: Bibi; Did you think of Jesus' color, Ronnie? 

  • (1:30:13) 📞 ALEX, CA: Catholics and Satanists, worship the mother? 

  • (1:32:18) A: Jesus' face cannot be seen, light-skinned; What should we like? 

  • (1:33:44) 📞 TERRI, OR: Jesus is Irish! "Millionaire's tax" in WA 

  • (1:38:25) 💬 Supers… Brandi, B-day boy, Terri 

  • (1:39:49) 💬 Coffees… Greggatron, Eric 

  • (1:43:27) 💬 Coffees… Popcorn, Eric, Mike, Cesar 

  • (1:49:37) 💬 Rumble Rants: "girls school" in IRAN? 

  • (1:52:53) 📞 JAIME, MN: I'd bow to black Jesus 

  • (1:54:11) Outro 

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 | HAKE NEWS Fri 3-13-26

🗞️ News (CNN email, AP, Morning Brew, theSkimm Fri 3-13-26) 

CNN: 5 things to know for March 13: War with Iran, Air Force plane crash, Violence uptick, Moon mission, Housing affordability 

AP: In the news today: The man who opened fire in a classroom at Old Dominion University had previously been convicted of aiding the Islamic State group; how ships near the Strait of Hormuz are trying to avoid being targeted by Iran; and what Trump’s new tariff plans could cost American households, according to congressional Democrats. Also, a gay Muslim influencer's recipe for an inclusive Ramadan celebration. 

Ground.News 

TERROR ATTACKS 

Armed man rammed vehicle into Michigan synagogue and was fatally shot by security: Report / Man who rammed his vehicle into Michigan synagogue was naturalized citizen from Lebanon, DHS says

Gunman in fatal Old Dominion University shooting identified as Mohamed Jalloh, a convicted ISIS supporter: Report 

IRAN 

US military confirms 4 crew killed after Air Force refueling plane crashed in Iraq (accident? not shot…) 

Karoline Leavitt Shoots Down Report Claiming Iran Wants to Attack California   

ALSO 

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