Are Washcloths Necessary? | Wed 3-11-26

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Stereotypes: Smoke alarms vs wash cloths. Pop culture smears the South. Why is questioning the H— illegal? Support Nick and Israel? Would you bow to Jesus? Is he black? 

The Hake Report, Wednesday, March 11, 2026 AD 

🕰️ TIMESTAMPS 

• (0:00:00) Start 

• (0:02:17) 💬 Rumble Rant: Smoke Alarm 

• (0:06:33) 🎶 Hey, guys! 

• (0:09:35) 📞 JOHN, KY: trolling about wash cloths, smelling like dogs 

• (0:12:43) 🚫 Meade, VA 

• (0:13:13) 📞 DAVID, TX: Kristi Noem, $220M immigration ads 

• (0:19:02) D: Chappelle 

• (0:20:20) 📞 BRANDON, KS: KC fake schools, chirp on calls; abuse 

• (0:27:13) 📞 MEADE, VA: portrayal of white southerners; "A Time to Kill" 

• (0:33:41) 📞 HADEN, TX: Hygiene; Yahshua; Nothing to be proud of 

• (0:38:48) H: H— denial laws in Europe, Canada, Australia … 

• (0:50:24) H: Shroud of Turin 

• (0:56:26) 🗒️ Shroud depicted a white or Arab or Sephardic man? 

• (0:57:48) 📞 MARK, L.A.: German LGBTQ, Antifa; History: Rockwell 

• (1:00:54) M: Support NJF and Israel?! 

• (1:04:34) M: Crusades, Sign of cross "antisemitic"? 

• (1:05:39) M: Ryan, riots bashing cops; people turn on you 

• (1:08:25) M: Netanyahu, Lindsey Graham, Iran war, Israel 

• (1:13:09) M: Islamists or Zionists 

• (1:14:20) M: IDF stand down, Oct 7? Guilt 

• (1:16:15) 📞 ALEX, CA: AI conscious or just liberal? Fruit fly 

• (1:20:08) A: Using AI tool, gas $6/gallon 

• (1:21:05) A: Women's History Month, easy life 

• (1:22:07) 💬 Shoutouts 

• (1:23:56) 💬 Supers: Brandi, prophecy

• (1:25:39) 💬 Super: How to love enemies. 

• (1:27:29) 💬 Coffees… Mike 

• (1:29:50) 💬 Eric… Identity is false 

• (1:31:42) 💬 Coffees… Cesar, Eric on women 

• (1:33:35) 💬 Coffee: Anthony, Eric on sin, ego 

• (1:35:39) 💬 Coffee: Ronnie, Everblazer 

• (1:39:02) 📞 ALLEN, MI: Would you bow? Gotcha questions; Jesus 

• (1:44:39) 📞 BOBBY, TX: Senate race: Talarico, Paxton, Cornyn 

• (1:48:50) 📞 ROB, NorCal: Logical fallacies. CALL TMRW! 

• (1:51:56) 💬 Supers/Coffees… IOU (Pilled, etc.) 

• (1:54:13) Outro 

🗒️ BLOG  https://www.thehakereport.com/blog/2026/3/11/hake-wed-3-11-26 

🎧 PODCAST 📝 Substack  https://thehakereport.substack.com/p/are-washcloths-necessary-wed-3-11 

🗞️ HAKE NEWS from JLP  https://www.thehakereport.com/jlp-news/2026/3/11/jlp-wed-3-11-26 

🥊 PUNCHIE TV blog on Hake  https://www.thehakereport.com/punchietv/2026/3/11/punchie-tv-episode-078-wed-3-11-26 

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–

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⚠️ DISCLAIMER: These views don't represent Hake, BOND, or JLP — no endorsement implied. Info may be false. 

 | HAKE NEWS Wed 3-11-26

🗞️ News (CNN? email or AP or Morning Brew or theSkimm Wed 3-11-26) 

In the news today: Republicans and Trump highlight different priorities for midterms campaigning; what victory might look like for Iran and the United States with no immediate end to the war in sight; and a new report suggests broader societal shifts might be at play in young kids’ declining reading scores in the U.S. Also, an innkeeper’s efforts to record radiation levels fifteen years after the Fukushima nuclear disaster. 

The Hake Report – https://thehakereport.com/episodes 

🥊 PUNCHIE TV blog on Hake  https://www.thehakereport.com/punchietv/2026/3/11/punchie-tv-episode-078-wed-3-11-26

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