It's August! Midge patties. Rate our sasquatch noises: 1-10? SpaceX to crash into Moon on accident! Caller laughs at terrible bodycam story! BLM Q's. Trump-Iran: in over his head? 1 in 3 Dems pro-DSA?

The Hake Report, Monday, August 3, 2026 AD

Last day of July history. Drama: Dr. Fauci pleads the 5th. Tyler Robinson–Charlie Kirk trial. Wife & 6 children. American way: Live outside means? Lifeguard hero. Inaccuracy in the direction of truth?

The Hake Report, Friday, July 31, 2026 AD

Congrats Ella Langley. Trump black-pillers all doom & gloom over Iran. "Kill a few chickens to scare the monkeys." Colin Gray sentenced in son Colt's crime. Celebrate hobby horses & Sasquatch calls. 

The Hake Report, Thursday, July 30, 2026 AD

Hogs, heroes & lifeguards: Hasselhoff. Nanny state. JLP book. Cities are evil? Care about Palestinians? Nicky Minaj. Trump says "Mexico." Fauci diary. Al Sharpton misinfo? Nolan Wells: heavy drinking?

The Hake Report, Wednesday, July 29, 2026 AD 

Shiloh Hendrix & cameraman Omar facts. Does NASA troll? Jesse coin! Antarctica FE fun fiction. Is Trump controlled? Rhodesian PM Ian Smith. New Tuskegee dress code. Crocs' valid use. Happy bday, Jake!

The Hake Report, Tuesday, July 28, 2026 AD 

Fishing & frogging in Canada. Palestine facts. Moon to Earth. Race leaders: people like excitement, not mundane reality. NASA zipline? Blood sacrifice? Why's Japan clean? Shiloh Hendrix. Nolan Wells.

The Hake Report, Monday, July 27, 2026 AD

Henry "Fonz" Winkler saved Rocky! Muslim tradition & USA. How to eat crawfish. Intelligence. Dr. Freeman Dyson. Trump 47. Nephilim, flesh & blood! Muslim girls at graduations. Energy drinks & Mormons.

The Hake Report, Friday, July 24, 2026 AD 

"Involve me and I learn." Ben Franklin. Dukes of Hazzard. Biracial manosphere. Smithsonian on white culture. Testosterone in military and pro-LGBTQ judge. Single moms' plight? Henry "Fonz" Winkler.  

The Hake Report, Thursday, July 23, 2026 AD 

Learning history: Shakespeare. Netanyahu & Milei. Father in Jeffrey Doucet case. Fitness talk. Hake explains the atmosphere spins with the ball Earth inside the space vacuum. 

The Hake Report, Wednesday, July 22, 2026 AD 

Dems' masculine aggression clampdown: Troy Jackson, Graham Platner, Jeffrey Epstein. Hake proves ball earth with horizon drawings. US Ethos? Margaret Thatcher, heroine of history? Socialism debunked. 

The Hake Report, Tuesday, July 21, 2026 AD 

Election policy thoughts. Health hazard history. Spencer Pratt on NYC DSA. Nephilim & Bible theories. Gen Z advice: Do not complain or blame; save & invest. Eminent domain: Y/N? "Generational wealth."

The Hake Report, Monday, July 20, 2026 AD 

Thx for b-day wishes! Cute, deformed raccoon. Seattle loves that. Eminem & President Trump, heroes. U.S.–Israel clarification. Ladies discuss election integrity: the debate drags on and on. 

The Hake Report, Friday, July 17, 2026 AD 

We're spoiling our migrants! Boomers reminisce on poster girls & vintage beer memorabilia. Charlie Kirk & Lindsey Graham: late, great, pro-Israel Americans. Different rambunctious kids. WeHo flood! 

The Hake Report, Thursday, July 16, 2026 AD 

Morals of the times. U.S. expansion: Good or bad for America? Lindsey Graham and other fellow single men, and society's setup. Historical figures from show biz. SF Bay incidents and sea lions. 

The Hake Report, Wednesday, July 15, 2026 AD 

Defending Lindsey Graham's character. Was Charlie Kirk really all that "based"? Nutrition tips with Hake (info may be false). "Take no heed unto all words that are spoken." -Ecclesiastes 

The Hake Report, Tuesday, July 14, 2026 AD 

Lindsey Graham (RIP) spoke up for men. Optimism is American. Nolan Wells question: Should you distrust your kid's friends? "Godfather" influence: Life imitating art. Listen to Ozzy, don't go to MAID.

The Hake Report, Monday, July 13, 2026 AD 

Don't be too reasonable or substantive. MLK theology: no virgin birth, social gospel. Ancestors would shake their heads. People hallucinate like AI. Granny loves interracial in-law now. 

The Hake Report, Friday, July 10, 2026 AD 

It's a backwards world: Followers are leading. Gossips are judging. People are evil. We discuss Trump, Cosby, late US heroes, kooky ideas, Erika Kirk, and the Tyler Robinson preliminary hearing. 

The Hake Report, Thursday, July 9, 2026 AD 

Kooky theorists call-in! Charlie Kirk wanted Erika running TPUSA? Nolan Wells fam hired Ben Crump?! Don't underestimate Tyler Robinson. Is Bibi manlier than Obama? Hamas tunnels banned civilians? 

The Hake Report, Wednesday, July 8, 2026 AD 

Shepard Fairey. Graham Platner. US-Israel latest poll. Our Greatest President & Our Future President: Real guys. 

The Hake Report, Tuesday, July 7, 2026 AD